Author Archive for dungan

berserking (5)

We raid a Holiday Inn. Little resistance, a weird look from two desk clerks.

Dwarf yells: Prepare for death and eternal Winter!

In a cavern which is doubling as a convention hall, we sweep a catering table, stuffing staleing muffins and dinner rolls into the backpack, on top of Bog Man. Because we are running, no one can stop us. Someone at a podium stares, a few people get knocked out of chairs and their coffees spill. Into a commercial kitchen, we find some satisfying challenges. A security guard steps in front of Pingpong, and I toss him the tureen that I’ve just tried to drink old pancake batter out of, having spilled a lot of it on my shirt. Pingpong bangs the metal into the guard’s face, hard to tell the force of the blow, but it looks bad and the guard goes down, and then we are propelled out a back door and over a dumpster-sized grease bin, then away.

Jogging across a field of star thistles we eat stolen M&M’s with cashew nuts mixed in. I bump into something that might be a monster ground sloth or giant short-faced bear specter. I’m slowed but not stopped. Big shapes moving through grey air, Pleistocene in size. Whatever it was, it was furry and smelled like wet dog.

In a Target parking lot, Dwarf and I are resting on the hood of a Celica, and Pingpong’s walking off his run. The last of the Sun’s sucking itself down a hole in a row of buildings.

Proto flapjacks turn out to be not so good; I can feel the batter sloshing around in my gut, and the feeling’s turning into a sick pressure. Dwarf says to puke myself, so I stick my hand in my mouth, which is easy due to the fact that my jaw’s become unhingeable, and trigger a huge vomit event, after which I feel much lighter. The parking lot’s almost empty, and we bisect it looking for a place to hide. There’s a field behind the Target, and we lay down in it, wherever, in a pile, because as a group we are suddenly exhausted. I fall asleep thinking that Love has been killed by Disease, and I dream about Bog Man’s previously encarcassed self, killing things, and then it’s dawn again, like the movements of the solar system have been sped up, then slowed down.

Pingpong’s dead; we find him fetally posed in a few yards from last night’s sleeping spot. At first it looks like he’s levitating, but it turns out he’s not: he’s stiff and balanced on a piece of wood. Dwarf sticks two fingers on the side of his neck to make sure of the dead part. He falls off the wood. There’s a smoggy-looking cloud to my right, so thin it’s almost a smell. That’s Bog Man. Apparently, he got to kill something after all, but it’s impossible to say how he might feel about it, since he never communicated much even when he could write, and now he’s reduced to a fume. At this point a voice speaks to us in our backbones, at the top where the spine meets the skull. The effect is really unpleasant, like someone yelling into a fifty-five gallon drum, and you’re the drum. The voice tells us that killing Pingpong was actually an accident, and that the voice’s name is Eeyore.

I look at Dwarf, and for some reason we are running.

Your name sounds a lot like Eeyore, I say out loud.

It doesn’t matter, says the voice. Do what I say.

california desert pioneering evidence

This is a “cave” in Joshua Tree National Park, near the boundary, that, according to my book of hikes, was built in the 40’s as a waystation of sorts between a certain area of the exterior of the park and Barker Dam inside, where there is a small lake. Over the years the boulder cave has been stocked to varying degrees and log-booked. We got there the hard way, from within the park, through, among other things, a “challenging” boulder-filled canyon which turned out ot be rather dangerous. Known as “Oh-Bay-Yo-Yo,” the shelter is not on the topo map, and we found it through luck more than anything. The above-mentioned book has what we found to be a cursory description of the route to the cave, but when you’re out there (in the Wonderland of Rocks area, also a Bighorn Sheep preserve) everything looks exactly the same: massive piles of car-sized boulders separated by washes and yucca plants. I’ve read that you can obtain the UTM coordinates from friendly rangers. Inside we found a fire pit, some logs for sitting, battered kitchen utensils, greeting cards (blank), a hardened suitcase containing various paper items, pens, a can opener, some dead lighters, and a spiral-bound logbook.

revolutionary poop from Oregon

“We know a human made this turd, whereas we don’t know if that was a campfire.”

The items pictured above are coprolites, or fossilized shit, found in desert caves1 in the Paisley 5 Mile Ridge in South-central Oregon. One of these has maybe finally laid to rest the much-challenged date of first human colonization of North America, or the “Clovis-first” theory. Coprolites are part of a larger group of animal remains called ichnotaxa, including also gastroliths, regurgitaliths, nests, cocoons and pupal cases. The challenging of a predominant scientific theory is not rare (for evidence, see the ‘Out of Africa’ model, which attempts to explain the origins of modern humanity, and which is squared off with the multiregionalist model; the fight’s not nearly over), and so The Clovis date (based on a particular kind of stone tool found in the ’30s in Clovis, New Mexico and subsequently elsewhere), which has been challenged before, is now most strongly threatened by the hard evidence of ancient turds. After a new DNA extraction technique found unmistakable human DNA in samples from the Paisley coprolites (as well as certain genetic markers found only in Native American populations), the archaeologist whose students found them, Dennis Jenkins from the University of Oregon, sent samples to two different labs for radio carbon dating, and the results were identical: the excretion moment of these turds was 14,300 years ago, making them the oldest remains-based evidence of modern humans ever found in North America.

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  1. I emailed Dr. Jenkins, because I was concerned about the proximity of the shit to possible food-prep areas. He wrote back to say that feces were usually deposited in certain areas of a cave, such as cracks, pits, etc., or just outside. These were caches for later use in case of emergency, since many seeds would pass through the digestive tracts of the cave-dwellers un-digested. These could be recovered, cleaned and reconsumed. He also mentioned that the Seri indians of Sonora, Mexico refer to this practice as the second harvest.

berserking (4)

In a cloud. I’d say it’s fog, but there’s never fog here. More like a probable malignant mist, damp and smelly, a non-corporeal wet dog. Our eyes are peeled for flying polyps. A never-ending night. The moisture is in the air as fat gobs of fluid, swirling around underneath the orange streetlights like a swarm of drunk moths. We bivouac in a depression in a field, underneath some plywood and found tarps. Dwarf and I chat in lowered voices about tomorrow. There’s a flashlight next to us pointing up, a quarter-twelver nearby. We have gained items and power. Bog Man shoulder-tapped at a liquor store and got us the twelver for free by using his ghastly appearance and brain-controlling skills. We’re still excited about his being a member of our team, it’s sort of like hanging with your hugest hero, someone you thought you’d never actually meet.

Cranberry’s for some reason getting mushy. It’s a little awkward since no one gives much of a fuck about him. Listen to that cricket, he says. I love that cricket. We all look at each other. Who invited him? Did he eat something poisonous? No one knows. I break out a deck of cards and start to shuffle them, Pingpong lights a Newport. Cranberry’s crying, he crawls out of the hideout, on his hands and knees, looking for the cricket. You’ll never find it, says Dwarf. Nobody ever finds any crickets. People are defaulting into sleep because of fatigue, habit. Bog Man has materialized next to where Pingpong’s curled up, is spooning him, and Pingpong’s whimpering and clearly terrified. He can’t get a boner, I tell him. Don’t worry, just roll with it.

As the sun rises I’m out in the damp grass. Several of our number have disappeared in the night, I’ve noticed, either back to Scout House, or who knows. Dwarf’s still here. The plywood’s sort of settled down overnight and it looks like there’s no way humans could fit under it, an excellent hidden fortress. Pingpong emerges from the ground and informs me, and by extension, Dwarf, who is squatting right next to me, that he’s going to quit, because he can’t handle the living dead trying to fuck him while he’s minding his own business. His actual words are something less coherent, more impassioned. And my response is: Well, we each had different upbringings, didn’t we? Besides, I tell him. I’m out next. At least not last.

Bog Man’s a pile of crap, can hardly animate himself, which is a further depression in the wet morning. The ultimate anticlimax. No one got to explode, or be annihilated by his terrible telekenetic power. He was modest with his second try at things, I think he mostly blew his reanimated do-over. Maybe he was all talk. I bump his scapula with my toe. Nothing. Something might have moved. I grab his leather skullcap and try it on. It’s a bit stiff and has a horrifying odor. Ancient skin is weird, I don’t recommend it. Then, a movement. I look down, and Bog Man’s trying to do a sit-up, but he can’t get it together. One arm is stuck out like a zombie, the other apparently powerless, and his abs are jittering, which makes his neck vibrate, which makes his hardened brain bang around inside his skull like a grapefruit, which makes his head jerk forwards and back again, which makes his movement plan disturbing and arbitrary. His sad algae-slime face is proof that the universe is the opposite of warm and friendly. I try to remember what it was like when being a Scout was new and exciting, and I can, but it’s a further compounding of the bum-out, because my remembered exuberance is now revealed to have been shamefully stupid. Dwarf helps me scoop Bog Man and dump him into someone’s backpack. He’s like a few armloads of bony kelp; the fronts of our shirts are wet and brown. He needs to keep moving, says Dwarf, maybe if we can get him back to the bog- but he doesn’t finish the sentence. My guess is he’ll mostly leak out of the bottom before we get very far in any direction.

Belgian compost metal

Lugubrum plays what they have referred to as Boersk Blek Metle, which means something like country or hillbilly black metal, after their countryside origins. Their music, while definitely classifiable as Black Metal, is really something weirder and more unclean, organic and elemental. The sound is an alternatingly dirgy and speed-blast decoction of classic black metal ingredients (buzzy guitars, orc-like vocals, lots of strumming), plus added banjo, saxophone, shit, necrotic fluids and pee. All of this is proudly delivered in low fidelity, as if the soil is filtering out some of the frequencies. Carrots and beer are core obsessions. They seem to be celebrating the positive aspects of Pestilence, which, when done laying waste, leaves the fields clear for new life forms to lurch forward. Their lyrics are often concerned with a kind of joyously fucky and putrid earth-boundness, where bearded maggot-hosts roll in beer mud, pained spectres cast brown shadows, flab is something for biting, and disease replaces love. Unlike a lot of other BM bands, Lugubrum’s genius begins at a bacterial level, where the creative process might be more comparable to digestion/metabolism/excretion than the action in more corpse-painted and genre-preoccupied black metal outposts. This isn’t music from the pits of hell, or music to burn churches by; it’s something originating from beneath an unholy compost pile. And therefore a lot more important and relevant, since, through their vital and proactive, decay-and-rebirth subject matter, they are connected directly to nature, and therefore advocate for all of us as organisms on the planet. I’m sure they’re not in this for for accolades alone, but if you appreciate the following songs, you should buy their records and send them fan mail.

Low Dog

mangy guardian
of the Brown Throne
crusted remains
of ancient spoils ARE YOU DEAD?!
pungent fumes
reek of Dolf
golden stream
the misty path ARE YOU DEAD?!
whisps of dead hair
old Holborn
mouldy cloak
shroud of wilt

Pump Room Brawl

nocturnal frenzy
jabbering fat
drooling beer
the Horn of Plenty
sadistick ritual
bound antagonist
bites the flab
snorts the blood
the sausage whips
singed flesh
red hot sauce
demeans
pump room brawl
degrading spectacle
under the Horn
down the hatch!

Beard of Disease

I watched you grow your plagues
like my beard of disease
red, hot, glistening
hairy eradicator
Bone-ash eclipse
born from the giants’ wind
utter darkness fed the growth
indomitable lashes
I wore thee with pride
bounded by root
gently we rocked in the breeze
while tornadoes feasted

 
icon for podpress  Low Dog: Play Now | Play in Popup

 
icon for podpress  Pump Room Brawl: Play Now | Play in Popup

 
icon for podpress  Beard of Disease: Play Now | Play in Popup

link to Lugubrum’s Brown Netherworld

buy their records here
and from Aquarius Records (in the US)

photos from lugubrum.com